people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
