maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
