...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
