i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
