i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
