I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
