drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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