I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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