Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize