it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
