I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
do nipples grow back?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
