Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize