what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
