Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
