matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
