i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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