Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
