Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
