I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
