Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
