those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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