Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
