She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize