god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
