well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
