Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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