You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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