i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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