I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
