oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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