Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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