I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
