After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
