i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
