Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
