He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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