Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
