you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
