and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
