I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
