I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
