why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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