we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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