Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
