That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Congratulations! We have a period
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