dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
