It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We got so high we made milksteak
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
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He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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