I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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