She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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