the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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