'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How naked do you want me to be?
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