I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize