So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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