What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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