she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
