Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
