i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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