I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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