i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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