i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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