This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
