so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
