pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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