Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
